Desires Are Forbidden Here

There are places I go in my mind
Where fantasies seem so real at times.
What I hunger for is very clear
But desires are forbidden here.
Monsters of madness
Darken my dream.
People I encounter
Are not as they seem.
I wear a painted smile
In a land of no tears.
I search for my courage
In a land of no fears.
The things that I want
Are the things I can’t obtain.
I reach out to touch them,
But they move further away.
Running blind, I go nowhere;
My destination is not revealed.
Looking behind, I see nothing
But the darkness on my heels.
I am lost and alone
In a world of no tears,
Forsaken and benumbed
In a world of no fears.

Cheryl!
Age 27

3AM – Matchbox 20

This seems very appropriate for me right now

She says it’s cold outside and she hands me my raincoat
She’s always worried about things like that
She says it’s all gonna end and it might as well be my fault
And she only sleeps when it’s raining
And she screams and her voice is straining

[chorus]

She says baby
It’s 3 am I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can’t help but be scared of it all sometimes
Says the rain’s gonna wash away I believe it

She’s got a little bit of something, God it’s better than nothing
And in her color portrait world she believes that she’s got it all
She swears the moon don’t hang quite as high as it used to
And she only sleeps when it’s raining
And she screams and her voice is straining

[chorus]

She believes that life is made up of all that you’re used to
And the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days, and days
She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway
But outside it’s stopped raining

[chorus]

Scorpions Concert – San Diego CA

Well, it has been a hell of a four years and I haven’t been to any concerts until now.  I got married, had a baby, overcame the biggest challenge of my life, and now, am pregnant with my second child.  Mark got tickets to the Scorpions and it is so nice to go to a concert with him.  Of course, I am pregnant, so I can’t drink, but someday my child will be able to brag that he was at a Scorpions concert before he was even born!  That’s pretty cool!  The concert was fantastic and Mark and I couldn’t have been happier.

Scorpions 1996

Holiday – Scorpions

This is one of Mark’s favorite songs and we went to the Scorpions concert tonight.  I am pregnant, so this will be the theme song for my child.

Let me take you far away
Youd like a holiday
Let me take you far away
Youd like a holiday

Exchange the cold days for the sun
A good time and fun
Let me take you far away
Youd like a holiday

Let me take you far away
Youd like a holiday
Let me take you far away
Youd like a holiday

Exchange your troubles for some love
Wherever you are
Let me take you far away
Youd like a holiday

Longing for the sun you will come
To the island without name
Longing for the sun be welcome
On the island many miles away from home
Be welcome on the island without name
Longing for the sun you will come
To the island many miles away from home

Eyes Wide Open

Wake up in the light of a new day.
Listen to what the world has to say.
Dreams fade
Reality blooms
Is one different
From the other?
Day turns to night.
Night turns to day.
Darkness is so bright sometimes.
You want to turn away
But where can you go?
What can you say?
Who is really listening
In the darkness of the day?

Cheryl!
Age 25

Man In The Box – Alice In Chains

This song will forever be etched in my mind as a reminder of my wedding and it always makes me smile.  The lyrics are short, but the song is long and it is the amazing beat of the song that really does it.

Im the man in the box
Buried in my shit
Wont you come and save me, save me

Chorus
Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus christ, deny your maker
He who tries, will be wasted
Feed my eyes now youve sewn them shut

Im the dog who gets beat
Shove my nose in shit
Wont you come and save me, save me

Guns N Roses Concert – Phoenix AZ

I am living down in Yuma now, but Mark and I and a couple of Mark’s friends, all took a drive up to Phoenix for this concert.  It was great, except Axel Rose was throwing some kind of temper tantrum and threatening not to do the show.  He finally decided to do the show, but it started way late.  There were tons of girls in the crowd sitting on their guys shoulders with their tops off, so I decided to show off my chest too.  That was fun.  I got a Guns N Roses G-String and we all got pretty trashed.  Fun times!!

Guns N Roses 1992

Losing My Religion – R.E.M

Darrel sings this song as if singing it to me.  I think it well depicts our relationship and how it just could never work. Yet, this song always reminds me of him.

Oh, life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up

(chorus)
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight, I’m
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up
Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

(repeat chorus)

But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream

She’s Always A Woman – Billy Joel

This song is great to sing and seems to be appropriate for me

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child,
But she’s always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she’ll never believe
And she’ll take what you give her, as long as it’s free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she’s always a woman to me

CHORUS:
Oh–she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her time
Oh–and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

And she’ll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she’ll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
But she’ll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she’s always a woman to me
–Mhmm–

Bridge

CHORUS:
Oh–she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She’s ahead of her time
Oh–and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind
And she’s suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She’s nobody’s fool
And she can’t be convicted
She’s earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she’s always a woman to me
–Mhmm–

Wild World – Cat Stevens

I am moving to Yuma…leaving Phoenix.  This song has been playing over and over in my car and is so very appropriate.

Lalalalalala…

Now that I’ve lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it’s breakin’ my heart you’re leavin’
Baby, I’m grievin’
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

CHORUS:
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
and I’ll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do
And it’s breakin’ my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you sad, girl
Don’t be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware

CHORUS

Lalalalala….

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware

CHORUS (x2)