The last few months have been quite a challenge. Everyone who knows me knows that I am the type of person that can juggle multiple balls in the air while balancing on my tight rope. However, instead of new balls being tossed into the mix, they were whipped at me from all sides and I fell of my tight rope many times.
Now, reflecting, I am feeling really good and am getting back on track.
These last few months, I have been financially strapped and working way too many hours just trying to get by and nervous about the economy and my lack of savings. Extra, unexpected costs were thrown in the mix with my root canal that abscessed and other things like that.
These last few months, I had my son’s court and legal issues to deal with and the uncertainty of what was going to happen with that. Thankfully, he received a year of probation and 40 hours community service. He is back on track now as well and working to get his grades up. The stress and anxiety of court made things very tough on him too.
These last few months, I had to deal with the idea that my father is moving out here to Phoenix. He announced this at Christmas and I had mixed feelings as well as the plethora of emotions that I worked hard for so many years to gain control over. During the last three months, these emotions seemed to be taking over my life once again. My father came out a couple weeks ago and we had dinner. Somehow or another, surprising even to myself, I found a confidence and told him so much that I had never had the courage to say before. I had neither anger nor elation, but merely found a balance between the two. It was definitely a first for me who has always been extreme in the emotions surrounding my father.
Through it all, thankfully, these last few months, I have had a fantastic interaction with a man who I see a couple times per week and met January 2nd. It is quite remarkable actually. I have been pretty picky in my dating and seek out a certain type of person who I have found is not very common. So far, though, this man has those qualities that I have been so hoping to find in someone. What is even more remarkable is that he seems to really be excited about me as well. The best part is that we see each other only a couple of times per week and the other nights we have our 30 minute phone call just to check in and say hi. We both have very demanding jobs as well as other friends that we like to hang out with, and no intention of getting entagled in eachother’s lives, but rather to anticipate our next interaction. It has been drama free 100% which is so nice. I haven’t felt anything but elated. When we are together, I forget about yesterday and tomorrow. It is probably the most healthy interaction with a man that I have ever experienced and it seems to induce a very specific smile on my face.
There have been many distractions these last few months and much weighing on my mind, but today I feel good and my head is much clearer.