The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. –David Russel
Benjamin Tillet Quote
God help the man who will not marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her.
-Benjamin Tillet
Huge Left Turn
Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I am in the middle of a huge left turn. Once I get completely through the turn, everything should be quite alright. There seems to be oil on the road and my wheels are spinning a bit, but I will get around this corner. I spent the entire day yesterday laying on the couch. I did not eat anything except a few spoonfulls of peanut butter. My friend, Janet, says that is what Sundays are for. I seem to lack the motivation again today as well. I miss my friend, but I have to move on. This is gonna be like quitting any addiction. I am going to just have to get past this withdrawl period and resist the urge to fall back. I did not expect this to be so hard. I hear the words of Robert Plant playing in my head “I can’t quit you babe, so I think I’ll put you down for a while”. The images in my mind are full of all the smiles and laughter of the recent past. But now I have to just move on.
Charlie and Becky
A couple of good photos of our dog and cat
The Most Fun Dress Up Playing Ever!
The boys and I went to visit Karl and ended up hanging out with him and his neighbor, Leanna. She is an extremely nice person and super fun. We drank a bunch of wine and played dress up with her endless collection of clothes, hats, shoes, and jackets. The photos may seem kind of goofy, but we had such a fun time!
Phase Shift
I am phase shifting pretty hard right now. Not sure which direction or what angle. Seems that certain things are canceling out and other things are becoming apparent. This time of year is often difficult. I feel like everything I want is just out of reach. It is like standing in the eye of a huge whirlwind. It swirls all around and I can see what is outside of it, but if I try to get to those things, I will be caught up in the wind and just swirl around in circles and get nowhere, so I stand here in the calm center waiting for the wind to die down so that I can make my move. It is a bit lonely in here, though. Wonder how long these heavy winds will last. Wonder if I could anchor myself somehow and reach through and grab hold of something or someone and pull myself through.
Sheryl Crow/Train – Phoenix AZ
I love Sheryl Crow and love to sing her songs. Train is good too!
32nd Birthday
Well, my birthday was awesome!! One of the better birthdays I must say. I woke up in the morning and had beer and eggs for breakfast and then laid around the pool all day. Around 4pm, I got in the shower and got ready and Karl came over and we all went out to dinner at Home Town Buffet and it was yummy. The boys were perfectly behaved. I was extremely impressed. Then we went over to Rhino for the balcony party. There were so many people there! I was surprised. It was a great party and the fireworks show lasted about 40 minutes and was just fantastic and our view of the show was perfect. I do not think anything about my birthday could have been better.
Birthday Eve
Tomorrow is my birthday. Last night I got my nails done and my hair cut and then I went roller blading. Today, I am going to buy a new outfit and get highlights in my hair. It has been over a year since I have pampered myself at all and I think it is about time. Today is good. I feel confident and in control. I know my birthday will be awesome as always.
Broken Hearts
You know that I have been hanging out with someone who has his heart broken and, as a result, has become quite protective of it. Well, I am starting to wonder if it may be wise to run away as fast as I can. As long as he expects to be hurt again, he will always look for potential negative. As long as he is looking for the flaws, he will find flaws everywhere. How can I possibly be so perfect that he could ever relax a bit and quit worrying about heartbreak? I cannot. It is impossible for me to prove one way or another how my presense in his life could effect him, and I cannot guarantee the length of our adventure together. I cannot guarantee a single thing except that this feels right at this moment and how can we really know if it will be right or wrong tomorrow? The entire future is only comprised of a bunch of moments. This one, right now, is all I have to work with, and if I were to squander it by worrying about the next moment, then will I be happy when I look back… will I be fulfilled when i reach the end? So many people these days are walking around with broken hearts and empty hearts. It is like Night of The Living Dead on this planet.